UNCLE SLOPPY'S BIOGRAPHY

Born amidst the paper mill shrouds of Shreveport, Louisiana, Uncle Sloppy was shipped off to Dallas, Texas at the tender age of 2. All the experts predicted that he wouldn’t make it 5 years because his “giant brain” constantly created problems everywhere he went. However his lifelong dedication to proving people wrong soon manifested itself. By the age of 4, Uncle Sloppy quickly managed to alienate his entire “peer group”. Jealousy is a motherfucker!
The twitching fat kid soon blossomed into a twitching fat “young man”. At age 18, Uncle Sloppy discovered a hitherto dormant talent for creating the world’s greatest Rock music. Mankind has never forgiven him for it. As founding member of at least 15 rock bands , he has been smearing his “art” all over the earth for years.
In 2001, Uncle Sloppy moved to New York City in an attempt to “internationalize” his “empire”. Although he managed to convert a few hundred enlightened hipster assholes, he was too late to save that stinking city from itself. So he moved back to his home state of Texas in March of 2006 to restart his “infotainment machine”.

What are people saying about Uncle Sloppy?

People of Earth, prepare to be anally raped by good old-fashioned “quality entertainment”…
-Admiral Adolf P. Nerfcock (retired)

“Uncle Sloppy is a machine that converts Dr. Pepper into Rock ‘N’ Roll!”
-Dr. Linus Pauling

“He made me shit in my own beautifully feathered hair…”
-Tommy Shaw (Styx)

“He’s a big fag. An extremely gifted fag, but a fag nonetheless.”
-Pope John Paul II

“I’d totally fuck him!”
-Madonna

Contact Uncle Sloppy: unclesloppy@sloppyworld.com